So I’m gonna get real specific for these coddled asses. When I vent about white people, I’m talking about DAILY fucking doses of:
1. White tumblr users who mock and bitch about “SJ bloggers” at every fucking turn. Oh, we’re just a bunch of keyboard warriors who don’t do anything in real life? I’m sorry, let me just turn off my computer and see if black people stop getting shot and brutalized by white people, if brown people stop getting bombed, if Indigenous peoples stop having genocidal atrocities perpetuated against them, and if women of colour stop getting shat on from all corners of the earth.
Well, look at that. Systemic oppressions still exist and mainstream media parrots the same feel-good white shit. We don’t get to pick and choose if we’re affected by “social justice” based on the contents of our blog. Our whole entire fucking lives revolve around trying to ward off the disease that is whiteness, whether we blog about cats or porn or racism. Feel free to go play on a slip-and-slide lined with broken glass, ya ignorant asstrumpet.
2. White expats/tourists who go to majority-PoC countries and think that their ability to “navigate” the culture excuses every colonial/imperialistic blight they’ve introduced to humanity and deprives them of their global white privilege. You spent centuries trying to stomp us out of existence, but now our clothes, food, customs, innovations, and languages are up for grabs and you get to decide if they’re cool or barbaric. You’re engaging in the same cultural appropriation as any other white asshole, but taking it a step further overseas.
And if foreigners ever dare to be “uppity” to you, that’s totally like REVERSE RACISM although that entire country will likely turn themselves inside fucking out if a white foreigner ever gets lost/hurt/killed, which is a privilege not afforded to the average PoC (see Lucie Blackman, Natalee Holloway, Madeleine McCann, Meredith Kercher, Taylor Anderson et al). So fuck you entitled expats. I hope the next time you decide to use us as another notch in your colonial sightseeing belt, I hope it turns into a season of Lost and you all get stranded except you have to eat each other to survive.
3. White identity-policing nationalists (often armed with white-defending PoC who are ready to shit on us on command), waxing white poetic about how like how diasporic PoC aren’t really [insert ethnicity] by the virtue of being of ~tainted~ diasporic stock. Or if we can’t maintain perfect bilingualism while eating an ice cream cone upside down while dancing on one foot and meet XYZ criteria, we’re not [insert ethnicity]. But at the same time, we will never be true Americans/Canadians/Australians/Brits/etc. Because whiteness dictates that we discard hundreds and thousands of years of our heritage for the sake of assimilation while still being marked as non-citizens in the countries that exploited everything we had to give (everything from backbreaking labour to our own children ripped out of our cold, dead hands). Motherfucking colonial logic.
4. White anti-choicers who don’t know when to shut the entire fuck up about vaginas and uteruses they don’t own, who think active sex lives are a greater sin than state-sanctioned abuse and poverty, but huddle en masse under an invisibility cloak when actual women & children need help. Typical slutshaming deadbeats who bleat on about personal responsibility, yet won’t acknowledge the damage they do by voting in legislation that cuts access to contraceptives, sex education, child care, or any form of social assistance. And in all my years of challenging their malicious propaganda, I rarely found a non-white anti-choice face in sight. Conversely, I was into pro-choice advocacy long before I found any anti-racist spaces online, but it led me to a lot of great WoC. You know who you are. ;)
5. White vegans who are mostly in their teens and early 20s and have never had to think about feeding a young family, who think everyone has the same health conditions, resources, opportunities, and cultural traditions, who think animals deserve to be treated better than PoC, who then compare racism to animal cruelty as if PoC have never been treated worse than animals, and who make it a point to antagonize everyone from Native Americans to rape victims to fat people to diabetic folks. After all your vicious trolling, you shouldn’t be too mad when people tell you to drink bleach. That’s vegan, right?
6. White artists who think their pretentious ~artistic integrity~ (as in every kid with photoshop and a tablet is an artist, lolol) is more important than not being a racist douchefuck. And when all fails, you blame whitewashing on “lighting” or the unwashed masses not understanding ~your craft~. Same goes for certain tattoos, body mods, hairstyles, or anything of PoC origins that gets snatched up by white vultures. White privilege is having anything that is on/from your body being lauded for “art” no matter how fucking unhygienic or gross it is.
7. White LGBT folks who silence and drown out PoC/WoC in their communities, then have the nerve to co-opt racism and the civil rights movement to say how homophobia is so much worse than anything EVER. Nine same-sex couples featured on the cover of Seattle Weekly, but not one fucking peep about how at least six pairs are men and ALL of them are white/lightskinned PoC. But white dudes aren’t in it for themselves at all!!11
8. White derailers who think it’s their godgiven right to invade and colonize every fucking conversation we have about our own experiences, like the “dear white people” movie and the post about PoC-themed birthday parties that made every other whitey come out of the woodwork to cry about how hard it is to be white. You’re right, I can’t imagine what it’s like to own most of the world’s wealth and have everyone conform to whiter-than-white standards of communication, aesthetics, historical truthfulness, etc. while using most of its resources like a bloated parasite. Poor you!
9. White feminists who often incorporate all of the fucking above, as terrifying as it is. Because as much as they looove talking about their vegan shit and dreadlocks and slutwalks and pagan goodness and everything else they’ve stolen, appropriated, or hijacked, the only women in the world are white cis women.
10. And you think you have it so fucking hard because someone called you a cracker. Stop the presses, someone referenced the fact that white people built their prosperity on the blood and bones of Indigenous/Black/Latin@/Asian peoples while CRACKING A FUCKING WHIP.
When we say that we hate whiteness, it doesn’t mean that we hate you for having sensitive skin (stop talking about your sunburns, no1curr about the SPF in your fucking Coppertone), recessive traits, or how you think your awkwardness is endearing. It means we hate the system created by white folks that destabilized entire countries, changed the entire composition of ethnic groups via slavery/genocide/expulsion, and determined geopolitical borders in almost every continent according to what YOU wanted. Instead of admitting “well, our ancestors royally screwed over most of the world aside from that stretch of land inhabited by penguins, maybe we should try to remedy that,” you act like you had nothing to do with the previous generations’ atrocities while still benefiting from everything they did. White people’s greed and their shameless lack of accountability have literally killed hundreds of millions of PoC around the world so that YOU could thrive, and the best you can do is shrug and say “wasn’t me personally.” That is why you are a disease in every sense of the word.
Nuanced enough for you?